Issue: April 15, 2026

Didja ever think about how “Verstappen” kinda sounds like “we’re stoppin”, which is a pretty funny name for an F1 champ to have? That always made me chuckle a bit.

It’s kinda like one of those “aptonyms” – y’know what those are? Like how Usain Bolt has a perfect name for someone who’s a fast sprinter, or how Marilyn vos Savant’s name was pretty on-point for someone who was in the Guinness Book for World’s Highest IQ. So I guess Verstappen’s kinda like ... an INaptonym?

Ya know who ELSE has a good inaptonym? A guy named Frank Beard. Why Frank Beard? Because he doesn’t have a beard! Which wouldn’t be THAT notable – ’cept for the fact he’s the drummer for what band that’s famous for hits like “Sharp Dressed Man” & “Gimme All Your Lovin’”?

There’s one case that Wikipedia lists as an aptonym, but I think might be better classified as an inapt one: the former President of Nintendo of America, who had what last name that some folks think came from an old Norman greeting meanin somethin like “fine sir”?